


Supernatural Underwear Night

by BlackMajjicDuchess



Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, F/M, Fun, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Teasing, Television Watching, Unrequited Lust, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-12 11:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMajjicDuchess/pseuds/BlackMajjicDuchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Genma is sex personified. Or, at least, Shizune thinks so. She's single and he is decidedly NOT, but somehow that doesn't stop him from being a raging flirtaholic. Shizune thinks it's not such a good idea, but Genma in his underwear? Why on earth should she complain? Well. If you can't beat him, join him. BASED ON A TRUE STORY! Yeah, I went there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awkward Sexual Tension

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on fanfiction.net under the same pen name on 9/9/2012
> 
> This is an actual event that happened between two college-aged adults. I'd rather you hormonal teens not get any ideas. Save the exciting things for when you're old enough to not have to explain this to your parents. ;-)
> 
> Dedicated to Peter. I shared this story with him and THEN proceeded to tell him about my coffee oneshot. He, being brilliant, suggested I turn this story into a...well, a story. I was like FUCK YES! That's PERFECT! Therefore, you should thank Peter for the idea, or this never would have happened. Enjoy the hilarity.

Supernatural Underwear Night: Awkward Sexual Tension

"Shizune! Come over here! I want you to meet my girlfriend!" Genma smiled and waved at her.

Shizune sighed to herself, but managed to crack a smile and wave back. It should be illegal for a man to be that attractive. It wasn't even just his physical appearance… it was the sly smiles, the warm, playful eyes, and the way he moved like he knew you wanted what he had. He even smelled delicious. Genma was a drug crafted for women, and she was no exception. There was, of course, one problem.

The girlfriend.

She was a girl she had never seen before. She had unkempt, messy red hair and wide, innocent hazel eyes. She was… cute. She waved to Shizune as well.

Why had she ever decided to be a friend to Genma? Oh, that's right… because she couldn't seem to get enough of him even though she knew she couldn't have him. They'd met long ago, of course, but she really started to get to know him in a Field Poisons class. She was taking it for obvious reasons and Genma had apparently decided it was useful knowledge. "Hey, I know you," he'd said, standing too close for comfort. "Shizune, right? Genma." They shook hands, and she felt an instant spark travel through her veins as they made eye contact. She hoped she wasn't blushing.

It had turned out that he was a whiz as a student. If he hadn't been so devoted to combat, he probably would have made an excellent medic. He was brilliant. They competed for the best test scores. She'd never been friends with a man who was so…smart. Smart men existed? He was funny, adorable, intelligent, and… dangerous. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted, and the more he knew it. They'd never spoken about it, but it was obvious. Everyone wanted a piece of Genma. Well, everyone with tits, anyway.

As for her? Shizune had prided herself on being reserved and loyal. She rarely dated anyone at all, preferring to absorb herself in study and work. Tsunade was distracted enough for the both of them. Without Shizune there to ground her, there was no telling what would happen to the Leaf Village. Tsunade would bury herself in booze and debts. Nonetheless, she had managed to find a man in there somewhere, and she had been engaged to be married, but that had fallen by the wayside a few months back. She was lonely now, and bored.

And Genma was beautiful and intoxicating.

…And he had a girlfriend.

"Hello," she said, holding out her hand to the girl. "I'm Shizune."

The pretty young girl shook her hand, eyes sparkling. "Nice to meet you! I'm Akiko."

Genma just stood there, looking at her smugly. Oh, he knew. He knew exactly what this was doing to her. So why was he doing this?

Answer: He fucking loved it.

"We were wondering if you wanted to come sit down and have lunch with us?" Genma asked her, smiling that secret, knowing smile.

"Genma has told me so much about you!" Akiko exclaimed. She was far too happy to be spending time with her boyfriend's female friend. Was she that stupid? Or that…nice?

Shizune smiled shakily. "Sure!" Had she just said that? The fuck…?

And so, she found herself sitting down for barbecue with the man she couldn't stop thinking about and his happy-go-lucky, beautiful vapid girlfriend. She was a complete idiot—or just completely ignorant to social cues—but she was sweet, adorable, and friendly. Shizune couldn't help it… and she decided that she liked her. In spite of herself, she enjoyed spending time with the two of them, although the situation was entirely awkward. She caught herself staring at Genma a time or two. Genma caught it, too, but Akiko didn't. Akiko stared at Genma, too, but she also had nothing but smiles for Shizune, and Shizune enjoyed the conversations she had with the other woman. She was really nice, and was also training to become a medic-nin, something she could relate to.

Yep, the whole situation was entirely fucked up.

So when Genma knocked on her door several weeks later and asked her if she wanted to hang out, she knew she should say no. Akiko was perfect for him, and already had him. So why had she said, "Sure!"? They got coffee like they usually did, except that now, Shizune had actually met the imaginary girlfriend and she wasn't imaginary anymore. Now it was worse. She chatted and joked with Genma, but the invisible presence of Akiko was there between them. Genma didn't seem to notice, but Shizune did. When Genma smiled, her heart fluttered, then dropped like a stone. It was like… a soaring, lilting feeling when she realized he was smiling at her, then the realization that it was all a lie—it had to be!—and then she was mildly depressed. Besides, if he was flirting with her while he had another girl that he devoted his attention to, then he wasn't worth a damn, in her opinion.

But she was lonely, and he was gorgeous and sex on legs. Oh dear heavens, save me from myself, she thought.

"Have you ever seen the show Supernatural?" he asked her suddenly, eyes twinkling wickedly.

"No, I haven't," she admitted. "What's it about?"

"You haven't seen Supernatural?" he exclaimed incredulously. "Oh my gosh, Shizune, where have you been? It's only like the best show in existence." She chuckled, amused at the outburst. "It's these two brothers that fight demons and such. It's awesome. Wanna watch it?"

That sounded interesting. "Sure."

"You want to come over?"

"Sure."

He grinned. "Great! Come on over to my place at 9 p.m. on Tuesday. Don't be late!"

"Alright. I'll be there." She hid her smile with her coffee cup.

"Awesome!" He checked the time, then stood out of his chair. "Sorry, I've got to go. I have a date."

"Okay, Genma. Have fun!"

His eyes twinkled. "Oh, I will," he answered wickedly, winking at her.

As soon as he had turned around, her breath left her. Insolent ass, teasing her that way! She finished her coffee, threw away the paper cup, and walked out.

She reflected on her romantic life with frustration. Her life had led her far and wide, roaming through all of the Five Great Nations and attending to the strongest kunoichi on the face of the earth. Her free time had been devoted to study and work. Behind Tsunade herself, Shizune had become the best medic in the world. It took a lot of effort to maintain that status. Breakthroughs in medical technology happened every day. If she didn't stay on the cutting edge of technology, the newer generations would quickly surpass her. Sakura was a prime example; Shizune loved Sakura, but that didn't change the fact that she was nervous that Tsunade's student may some day rank above her in skill. All of her efforts in medical training, however, had left her little time for romance.

She had met a man, finally, when they'd settled in the Leaf Village, but he wasn't enough. He wasn't a ninja, and didn't understand her long hours at the hospital or on missions. Then, finally, he lost his job and seemed unconcerned with finding a new one, and she decided enough was enough. She wasn't going to pay for him to sit on his ass. She kicked him out of her apartment, and then he dumped her. His loss. She actually found she was happier without being attached to a man. She was completely in control of her own happiness, she didn't have a man to fight with, and she didn't have to worry about being out too late or too long. But, she also missed the warm presence in her bed and the scent of cologne.

And then there was Genma. He represented all of the fun of a boyfriend and none of the responsibility. He was wicked, fun, attractive, and funny, but she couldn't have him. Nonetheless, she felt very little holding her back from at least flirting with him to get it out of her system. He was more than willing to flirt back. He had flirtation perfected, after all. A look, a smile, being just a tad too close for comfort. He invaded her personal space and then smiled at her as if daring her to do something about it, but he never crossed that line. She had no boyfriend, so when he made a dirty joke, she laughed and shot one back. She smiled and laughed. When they were alone, she'd give him a smirk. She'd tease him about his looks and his apparent ego. It was all the sexual tension with none of the sex, and it was driving her absolutely crazy.

Tuesday took too long to arrive. She showered, dressed, and walked to his apartment. She arrived about ten minutes early, as per usual. She knocked on the door. No one answered. "Strange," she said to herself. She tried the doorknob. It wasn't locked, so she let herself in. It wasn't hard to find his room. It was the one with the bed and the television. She sat on his bed for a moment, but then decided she should find out where he was and what he was doing.

She walked around his apartment, feeling rebellious. She was sneaking around a guy's place. It was typical, nothing too exciting, but she still felt liberated and bad. Then she heard it: the shower was running. She froze, feeling her blood heat. She knew. How could she not?

He'd planned this. Be there at 9, he says. Don't be late, he says. She looked at her watch. It was 8:56 p.m., on the dot. And he was in the fucking shower. She sighed. "Oh, Genma," she said. She was ruined. With nothing left to do but wait, she decided being near the TV was the smartest option. She didn't want to miss any of the show, after all. She returned to his room and sat on the bed. Her eyes roamed around the room. Nothing too exciting, but she was bored. There was a chalkboard on the wall. On it, he'd scrawled the words "Start strong, stay strong." There were some notes about poisons up there, too. Class things. So, he was a focused student. Over on the desk was a pile of medical texts, too…right next to a picture of him and Akiko in their swimsuits at a pool. Dammit. Would the girl never go away?

That was when Genma walked into the room…in a towel, and nothing else. "Oh, Shizune!" he exclaimed, as if he didn't know she was going to be there. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here."

"It's 9 p.m.," she said flatly, trying to maintain eye contact and not be distracted by the flimsy cotton fabric between her and…that. Or the scent of men's bodywash. Or the damp, ruffled hair. She managed to keep eye contact, but it probably wasn't a good thing. The wicked twinkle was there. Yep, he knew what he was doing.

"Oh, is it? Sorry. I didn't realize it was so late. Do you mind if I get dressed?" He pointed toward his closet.

She stood. "No problem. Just let me know when I can come back in," she said, and took a step toward the door.

"No, you don't have to leave. Just don't peek. I trust you."


	2. To Peek, or Not to Peek?

Her breath escaped her and she crashed back onto the bed. She had just enough time to realize what was going on, and shut her eyes just as she heard the towel whipped off.  _Oh. My. God._ Was this really happening? "Don't peek," he reminded. "I know you want to, but you can't."

"I won't," she promised. She wouldn't. If she did, she'd want, and it wasn't hers.

"Oh! I got these new boxers from Akiko for my birthday. Do you want to see?" She heard him rummaging around in the closet.

She fidgeted nervously. "No, Genma, that's alright."

She heard him hesitate in the rummaging. He was looking at her. "Well." He sounded confused. "I want you to see them anyway. It would help to have another opinion. I mean, I like them, but…" He went back to the rummaging.

Who was she to argue?

"Okay, look."

She took a deep breath. A hundred thoughts went through her head in that instant.  _I shouldn't look. He has a girlfriend. He doesn't like me like that. I shouldn't look. What if he is trying to trick me and isn't wearing anything? I want to see! I shouldn't look._  Every thought she had was discarded except for one:  _I'm single, and I want to look._ She flicked open both eyelids, absorbed the image of Genma in a pair of snug red boxers, and slammed them shut just as quickly. "They're fine, Genma," she told him, amused.

"Oh come on, Shizune. Is that it? What did you see in that fraction of a second, the color? I want an actual opinion. So, look. Come on. Open your eyes."

_Heaven, strike me down, now,_  she thought. She opened both eyes again, roved him up and down, and couldn't stop the tiny smile that played across her lips. Yes, they were very nice. It was particularly interesting to see Genma with his shirt off. He was, expectedly, in wonderful shape. Those were the kind of abs a girl could rub her face in and get lost in sensation. "They look good on you, Genma," she said. Was there even a point in shutting her eyes now? She decided to keep them open.

"Okay, shut your eyes again." Or not. "I want you to see this other one I've got." She laughed humorlessly and shut her eyes. She was going to the special hell for sure.

She heard him rummaging again. "Make sure you tell  _all_  your friends so they know what they're missing," he joked.

She shook her head ruefully and agreed. All the girls in Field Poisons wanted this man. She'd been sitting in on a few conversations about how they would jump his bones if given half a chance.  _I think he likes_ you _, though, Shizune,_ they'd say.  _You're wrong, we're just friends,_  she'd tell them.  _He has a girlfriend._ "I bet they'd pay money to sit where I am now," she teased back.

"Really?" he said, though he didn't exactly sound surprised. "Okay, look."

She opened her eyes. These were silk and dark blue. She wanted to touch so badly her fingers itched.  _Oh, fuck me,_  she thought.  _I am so screwed._ "I think I like those better," she admitted, intensely proud of how calm she sounded since her hormones and heartbeat were seemingly at war within her. Hormones were currently winning the battle, but Heartbeat was screaming how it was sure to win the war.

He smirked. "Thought you might." He looked down at himself and shimmied, seemingly enjoying the way the silk moved against his goods. She blushed and was glad he wasn't watching her. He peeked at her from beneath his eyebrows and grinned.  _Shit._ "Alright, I've got one more."

She shut her eyes automatically. "What about Supernatural?"

"Ah, it's just going to be recap for the first five minutes anyway. I'll fill you in later. Besides, this is way more fun than that."

She had to agree, so she didn't argue. "Okay," she replied meekly, waiting patiently.

"Okay, Shizune," he said. "Open your eyes."

She did so. "Oh, my," she whispered, one hand fluttering to her chest.

He did a turn, looking over his shoulder at his own butt. "What do you think? Boxers… or  _boxer briefs_? Yeah? Yeah?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, pure wickedness in his smile.

Men who knew they were beautiful were so utterly frustrating. She definitely appreciated the snugness of these. Too, the ninja within her decided that these seemed much more practical. "Definitely those… but the silk is nice, too."

"These are comfortable, too. Keeps my boys in line." He grabbed himself to show her exactly what he meant.

She burst out laughing, overwhelmed with nerves. "That's good," she blurted stupidly.

He smiled and placed his hands on his hips, standing there for all the world like the God of Sex. For a moment they just stared at each other. "Oh!" he said suddenly. "I need to show you these."

"More?" she breathed incredulously, unsure if she wanted him to stop or continue. She shut her eyes dutifully.

"Last one, I promise. I have this pair…it was my  _favorite_  pair. I've worn them so much they're falling apart." Shizune started shaking her head. "No, I mean seriously. They're like ripped, and…" She heard the snap of the waistband. "See?"

She opened her eyes again, and her jaw immediately dropped. They really  _were_  falling apart. The fabric had divorced the waistband over both hips, and Genma's strong thigh muscles were visible through the holes. Really, the only part of him that was adequately covered was the good part. "Wow, Genma. Why do you still have those? Throw them away!" She chuckled.

He looked down at himself and laughed. "I know, right? It's ridiculous! I don't know why I still have them, actually. I should throw them away." He chuckled. "Alright, seriously now. I'm going to change and we can start the show."

"Oh good!" she said with relief. She shut her eyes so he could change. Again.

"Aw, come on Shizune. You know you liked it." She smirked and said nothing. When he was finished 'changing' this time, he was back in the red boxers. Was that supposed to be some sort of subtle reminder that he had a girlfriend? She was never going to forget the existence of Akiko as long as he wore those things. Well and good. She knew she shouldn't. Akiko was a sweet girl and thus, Genma was never to be hers.

So…then what was up with the modeling session? She was confused, but honestly…did it matter? Genma was freely spending time with her in his underwear. Who was she to complain?

He took a flying ninja leap and landed on the bed next to her. Then he stretched out behind her and lay on his side, head propped in his hand. He fished the remote out from beneath his pillow and switched on the TV. The show was just starting. The credits were still rolling on the opening scene. "You going to watch the whole thing sitting like that?" he asked, amused.

She turned around to see him smirking again. "What do you suggest?" she asked, eyes scanning the room for another chair.

"There's enough space here for both of us," he said blithely.

"I don't know…" she trailed off, uncertain. "What about your girlfriend?" Damn her honorable intentions. She just could not bring herself to be a part of hurting that girl.

He rolled his eyes. "Shizune. I'm not married to her. And cuddling isn't kissing or sex. There's nothing wrong with it." He patted the space next to him.

She had a hard time arguing with that logic. She wasn't sure she entirely agreed with it; in her opinion, if you were doing something that you wouldn't want your significant other to find out about, then it was wrong. But, it wasn't her relationship, and he  _was_  right. Girls cuddled and hugged each other all the time. And so, Shizune lay down next to Genma and allowed herself to be cuddled.

At first, she was stiff and unsure. It had been a long time since she'd been this close to a man. She could smell his cologne (which was subtle, fresh, and just  _nice_ ), and his body was soft and warm. Then, when the shock of "I'm cuddling with Genma Shiranui in his underwear" wore off and she was mostly just aware that a warm, nice smelling man had an arm around her and was pressed into her back, she relaxed. It did feel nice to be less alone, even if it was a lie. And then, as the television show that had brought them together tonight played on, it was more than nice. For the first time since her breakup, she felt peaceful. It didn't matter that Genma wasn't hers. She just appreciated the contact and the attention. He made her feel… cared about. Even just a little.

And so she found herself sad when the show ended, and it wasn't because of the content. Sure, it was a good television show, but that wasn't the point anymore. When Genma broke contact with her back and she was left cold and alone again, she sighed with defeat. The act was over. Now they were back to being Shizune and Genma, individuals.

To her surprise, Genma was getting dressed. For real. "What are you doing?" she asked.

A sly smile crept across his face. "What, attached to the idea of me without trousers already?" She blushed. He chuckled and said, "I don't know… I just don't want you to go home yet. Let's go play some pool."

Oh! Genma wanted to spend  _more_  time with her? Cha! "Okay!" she answered brightly.

She followed him outside his apartment, and they gleefully made their way to the pool hall. Well, she was practically skipping gleefully. For his part, he mostly just strolled with his hands in his pockets, the familiar Senbon back in his teeth. It was a habit of his. She thought it made him look cool, like a bad boy with a cigarette without all the cancer and stench.

"I like hanging out with you, Shizune," he told her quietly.

She chose that moment to voice her concerns. It kind of felt like one of those confession moments. "I like hanging out with you, too, Genma, but…do you really think this is alright? I mean, wouldn't Akiko be upset?"

His smile was much more subdued, almost shy. "That's just it, Shizune. I like hanging out with you because you're a good person. I'm not exactly a good person," he admitted, almost sad.

"That's not true," she told him. She wasn't sure if it was or not. She disagreed with his behavior, too. Still, she wasn't entirely sure what he was getting at here.

"No, what I mean is that I really enjoy flirting. I can't help myself. But, with you, I know you won't let it turn into anything. When I said 'don't peek,' you didn't, did you?" He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"No, I didn't peek," she responded honestly. "So, what you're saying is… I'm your safe friend?"

"Yeah, that's it!" he said with a smile. "I can be myself around you, and I don't have to worry about screwing up!"

_Ahh_ , so that was his game. It made a twisted sort of sense, she supposed. If he was using her to try to behave himself, she could be used. It was fun, anyway. "That's right," she said with more bravery than she felt. "I like Akiko. You don't have to worry about any interference from me. But," she added, "last I checked,  _I_  was still single, so I do not have to behave myself." She grinned in spite of herself.

"Point well taken," he said, nodding.

"And, if anything ever happens with your girlfriend... I don't foresee me finding a boyfriend anytime soon." She let the hint hang there, her intentions laid bare.

He chuckled. "Oh, man, Shizune. You need to lighten up. Work and class are not  _that_  important. You gotta find some free time." She shook her head. "Besides," he added a moment later, "I do really like Akiko. She's a nice girl."

"Yes, she is," Shizune agreed.

"We should do this again sometime."

Her lips twitched with amusement. "You mean, underwear and all?"

"Yes."

She thought about it a moment. "I guess that is only fair. I did get to see  _you_  in  _your_  underwear."

"Next Tuesday then?"

"Sure, why not?" she responded, her heart fluttering in her chest. Yep,  _definitely_  going to the special hell. "We can go to my place next time." Yeah, surely there was a nice hot spot in the fires of hell just for her. "I know just what I'm going to wear."

Inner Shizune was absolutely freaking the fuck out with anticipation. _Wow, did I just agree to hang out with Genma in my bra and panties? Why yes, yes I did._


	3. Seriously, Just Look

"Still on for tonight?" he asked her, a pencil resting on his lips where the usual senbon would be. She asked him why he did that, once. He told her it made him look more 'scholarly.' She told him it made him look like a dork.

"Yep," she answered. She'd been looking forward to it, in fact. She'd even gone out for the long forgotten and elusive 'morning run' that she used to do every day to try to be just a touch more in shape. Hooray for another chance at seeing Genma in his underwear! And in  _her_  apartment, no less. She hoped that his cologne would linger after he left so she could just sit there and inhale it.

He gave her one of those Genma smiles. "Good. Wear something nice," he added with a wink.

"Of course!" she answered cheerily.

"Time for me to go. I have to mentally prepare," he said, pushing his chair away from the table. They'd been in Field Poisons, and it was study day. There was a test coming up. Most of the Shinobi taking the class didn't stick around for the free study time on study day. Besides the two of them, there was a bare handful. They weren't required to use the time, of course, but Shizune's thought was that if the instructor allotted time for studying, then it should be spent studying.

"You do that," she teased. "See you later!"

He squeezed her shoulders in lieu of a wave or goodbye and strode out the door, leaving her with just a hint of cologne and the memory of his hands. She smiled wistfully and tried to turn her attention back to her studying. A mystery number of minutes passed before she realized that she'd been staring at the word 'teratogen' and still had no idea what it meant. The study thing was not happening. In a few hours, it'd be her and Genma in their underwear with a side of unimportant television.

"Yep, time to go," she said to herself, shutting the textbook.

The time it took for her to get back home blurred by, lost as she was in thoughts of unclad man. Seeing Genma with his shirt off was tantamount to seeing him naked. She was an intelligent woman; she could fill in the blank. And thinking of Genma naked gave her plenty else to think about.

She remembered so quickly that she stopped dead in her tracks: Akiko.

… _SHIT._

Okay, no more uncouth thoughts about Genma and her doing The Naughty. She shook her head and cleared her thoughts, only to realize she was already at her front door. Unbidden, her traitorous heart sped up, the reality of the situation sinking in all over again.

Genma was coming.

To spend time with her.

In underwear.

There was still plenty of time before 9:00 p.m., but with her whole brain bent on that fateful time, she couldn't wait. She changed into the night's uniform: black 'boy short' underwear with ninja mesh on the hips and a simple black bra. She checked herself in the mirror. Hotness. She fluffed and sassed at her hair for a minute to complete the sultry look, then smirked at her own reflection. "I'd do me," she told the mirror.

She knew focus was not going to happen until tonight was over, so she flipped on the television instead. She settled on a cooking show; two chefs were facing off in a battle of culinary wits, a challenger and a champion. Good enough. The half of her brain that needed to stay occupied to keep her sane concentrated on the show. The half of her brain that was pickled in Genma's cologne just hung out singing "La la la, la la la, la la la" and waiting for 9:00 p.m. to arrive.

And then someone knocked on the door. Like a teenager, she sprinted to the door in her underthings and peeked through the peephole. Yep, there he was, half an hour early. She opened the door just wide enough to let him in. Genma was allowed to see her without proper clothing, but the neighbors weren't.

He smirked as he crossed the threshold, leering appreciatively as he passed. She'd been relaxing in her bra and underwear for the past several hours, now, and she'd gotten comfortable enough that she had reclaimed all traces of bravery. Honestly, it wasn't that hard. If a woman could go to the beach in clothes skimpier than these, she didn't understand why they got so suddenly shy in underwear.

By the time she'd shut the door, locked it, and turned around, Genma was sprawled out on the overstuffed living room chair in naught but his undershorts and bandana, Senbon in teeth. She noted with wry amusement that he was wearing the last pair he had tried on for her…the one with all the holes in it. He ignored that fact and looked her over again. "Well, Shizune, I think it's safe to say that that was an excellent choice," he told her, meaning her clothing.

"Thanks, but…I think it's safe to say that yours was not a wise choice."

He frowned. "I thought they were your favorite?" He chuckled at her look of horror. "I'm kidding. I was just trying to be funny. Nice place!"

"Thanks!" She lived in a very modest one bedroom apartment. When the landlord had shown it to her, she literally gave it a once and over and told him "It'll do. I'll take it." It cost more than it should have, but it had a convenient location and came furnished. All it had was one very large bedroom with a very large bed, a tiny bathroom, a sizable living room, and a pathetic excuse for a kitchen that had one cupboard and one drawer. She didn't care, though. Despite her love for food, she rarely, if ever, cooked. Who was she supposed to feed? The one feature she appreciated was the rickety pull out wooden curtain that she could use to hide the pile of dirty dishes that she never did until they'd grown fuzzy and raunchy. Her Field Poisons instructor would probably pitch a fit if he saw. "Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked him politely.

"Water's good," he replied, already absorbed in her cooking shows.

She poured the glass of water and handed it to him, then lounged out on the couch. Genma spent half of his time watching Iron Chef, and half of his time watching her watching Iron Chef. She didn't miss it, though she was certain he thought he was being sly.

"Well," he announced suddenly, "these really aren't doing me any good." He tore—literally, tore—the remaining fabric on the tattered boxers.

She didn't see what he did with it after. She was already shutting her eyes out of habit.  _Holy…!_ Did he really just do that? "Are you really naked in my house right now?" she asked incredulously.

"Spose I am," he stated.

"Okay."

"That alright with you?" he asked. She wondered if her answer even mattered.

"Sure!" What the...?

"Good. It's so much more comfortable. I hang out naked in my own place all the time. It just feels right." She opened her eyes, but kept them carefully trained on the television. "Do you?"

Her ears burned. "What?" She had to be blushing.

"Do you hang out naked when you're alone? I bet you sleep naked."

"No, and yes. I don't sit around my house naked because I have windows, for one thing, and sometimes Lady Tsunade just bursts in here for no apparent reason and I don't want to be naked when she just shows up unannounced." Start, television show.  _Start, damn you!_

"Ah." Pause. "I'm still thirsty. Can I get some more of that water?"

"Sure, I'll just—"

"I'll get it!" he sang. She heard the squeak of the cushion as he stood up. He sauntered (she wasn't looking, but she assumed it was a damned good saunter) over to the fridge. "Where's the water?"

"It's in the tea jug," she hollered back. "We have weird water here, so you have to let it sit for a day before you can drink it, so I put it in the tea jug instead," she explained.

"Oh, okay." He poured a glass and returned to his position on the chair. Within moments of reseating himself, he was getting up again. And again. And again. Seriously, no one, not even a Sand Shinobi, was that dehydrated. "I'm just so thirsty," he explained as Shizune averted her eyes for the umpteenth time.

She shook her head ruefully, understanding the situation she had gotten herself into. Genma was being an exhibitionist. He was trying to make her look at him naked. She really wouldn't have minded if Akiko did not exist. In fact, if Akiko didn't exist, Shizune would be all over that. There was a sexy, smart, naked man willingly sauntering through her apartment, trying to get her attention.

What was wrong with her? If she told this story later to anyone at all, would they call her a dumbass for not hittin' that, or commend her honorable intentions for resisting?

She ultimately decided that she'd feel better about herself if she was not at fault for Genma's behavior, and promised herself not to look.

But as the show ended, shit got a little complicated. Suddenly, Genma was right next to her, standing next to the couch. "Whoa, Genma, what the fuck?" she squawked as she tugged the blanket over her eyes. He just kept standing there, waiting, saying nothing.

Finally he spoke, his voice laced with amusement. "I don't know why, Shizune, but I kind of just want you to see it. Will you just look?"

"No, Genma, you have a girlfriend. I'm not going to look."

"Looking's not cheating, either, Shizune. Just look."

"I'm not looking."

"Seriously, Shizune. Please just look. I want you to see."

"I'm not going to. You can stand there all night."

"I need you to check and see if it's in good health."

"I'm sure it's fine."

"Your chair is on fire."

"Liar."

"Well, I need you to—"

"For fuck's sake, Genma, I said I'm not going to look!"

He sighed heavily. "Fine." She heard the floor creak as he walked away. She peeked over the blanket, just to see where he was going. She caught a scenic view of Genma's ass as he turned the corner to her hallway. "This your bathroom?" he hollered.

"Yes, room with the toilet," she answered wryly.

"Wow, you've got a lot of lotion in here!" he exclaimed.

It was a thing with her. Every year, she got lotion as gifts from people who didn't really know what to buy for her. It was nice, since she never ran out, and she had every scent imaginable as a result. "Yeah, I do. I like my skin to be baby soft."

"Me too!" he answered. "Mind if I use some?"

"Knock yourself out," she replied, trying desperately to ignore a man's usual use for lotion. Surely he wouldn't…?

"My skin's been  _so_  dry, lately," he muttered from the bathroom. A minute or so passed as he—presumably—applied lotion liberally. "Hey, this your bedroom?"

She sighed heavily. "Yes, Genma. It's a one bedroom apartment and I'm the only one who lives here." What was up with this guy?

"So then this must be your bed," he shouted.

What. The fuck? "Again, the only one who lives here."

"It's so big! I'm gonna try it out!" She heard the sharp squeak of springs as he—presumably—ninja leapt onto the bed she had, once upon a time, shared with her ex-fiance. The knowledge of that little bit of irony made her smirk. At least Genma was rubbing his delicious man scent all over her bed, hopefully erasing all lingering negativity from the area. "This is a really awesome pillow. I could like, hug this."

Images of Genma's naked body wrapped around her pillow coursed through her head. Her first reaction:  _awesome_. Her second? "Hey! I put my face on that pillow, you jerk!"

"I was counting on that!" She heard the blankets rustle as Genma flounced around on her bed. Without her. "Hey, Shizune!" he yelled. "Wanna come join me?"

_Yes!_  "No." She crossed her arms across her chest, still smiling. This man would prove to be her undoing.

"Why not?" he whined.

"Girlfriend, Genma," she breathed with annoyance. "I'd definitely join you in there if you didn't have one, though," she threatened.

"That's a shame," he answered. She heard a thud on the floor as he dismounted her now thoroughly violated bed. Sleeping there would never be the same. He reentered her living room, and instinctively she covered her head. "Don't worry," he said in a normal voice, "I'll stop pestering you. I'm wearing a blanket now, see?"

She blurred her eyes by half closing her eyelids and dared to peek. Sure enough, he was wearing a blanket. She sighed with relief and lowered her blanket mask. Too late, she realized her mistake. He whipped the blanket off just as she had tried to whip hers back up. She barely made it in time. "Almost had you!" he crowed with triumph. "Alright, alright," he corrected. "I'm done, I promise." She peeked again. Waited. He remained the same, still covered.

Suddenly, his eyes fell on her Shougi board. He lit up like a child at holiday. "Oo! That's a suh- _weet_  Shougi set!" He tied the blanket around his waist like he had the towel, then shuffled over to the table that held her Shougi set.

It was a very nice Shougi set. The pieces were carved into various ninja summons: snakes, toads, cats, dogs, weasels, horses, etc. The detail on them was fantastic, and the board was glass suspended in the air by four twisted pillars. "Thanks! I bought it on sale. It was like half off. Do you play?"

He nodded and pulled the table over to where they sat. Before long, they were embroiled in a battle of wits. She found herself distracted and lost twice. There had never been a time in her life when she had played Shougi nearly naked with a naked man. She decided it was worth doing again. With practice, it might improve her sharpness of mind in distracting situations. And it was fun.

Too soon, Genma stood. He pulled his pants on below the line of the blanket. It was a skill Shizune also possessed—the ability to dress without needed to undress first. It came in handy when trying to protect one's modesty. She smirked at him for doing so. He winked. "Sorry, Shizune," he said, pulling the black shirt over his head. "I've got to be up in the morning, so I need to get home and get to bed. We'll have to do this again soon." He shot her a sultry look.

She wanted. "Definitely," she purred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, all of this I am writing is still a true story. It's too crazy for me to be able to make this up. For the record, a teratogen is a chemical that causes birth defects.


	4. Do You Want Me to Stay?

But they didn't do it again. The final exam came and went, and it seemed like Genma was too busy hanging out with Akiko, working, or taking a different class. If he wasn't busy, Shizune was buried with paperwork or medical duties or making sure Tsunade didn't drink herself into an early grave.

Days passed. Weeks passed. Months passed.

Shizune started to get the feeling that Genma had realized that he'd pushed his limits a little too far with her. He must have decided that his relationship with Akiko was too valuable to him to risk what he might have done with Shizune. She knew that if he'd asked her, straight up, to just crawl into bed with him and make dreams come true, she'd go without hesitation or doubt. As it stood, the teasing, hinting, and flaunting was making her antsy, but it allowed her enough presence of mind to remember that Genma was a man taken, and she kept her hormones in check. She decided that if he was going to stop trying to contact her, she wouldn't press the issue. It was probably better this way for both of them.

She didn't feel quite as lonely anymore. Hanging out in her underwear with Genma had restored a good bit of her confidence. She realized that if she wanted to go out and find a man, it wasn't going to be as difficult as she had led herself to believe. She wasn't in a hurry to give up her freedom, though, so finding a boyfriend or even getting laid sank dangerously low on her priority list.

Life resumed to normal. It was pretty lame on a day to day basis, but it was work, and it was fulfilling. Before too long, she was hardly thinking of Genma at all, except to remember their couple of nights toeing the edge of the inappropriate, and smile with abated affection.

Right up until Genma practically bumped into her in the street. "Shizune, hey!" he greeted with a shaky smile. That was weird enough. Genma  _never_  had a shaky smile. Genma had an easy smile that he gifted to the world freely. She blinked as he clutched at her hand and pressed a folded up piece of paper into her palm.

Her fingers closed around it.  _A note?_  "Hey, Genma. How've you been?"

"Eh," he shrugged. "Not so great, Shizune. You?"

"I'm okay," she answered, mildly concerned. What was eating at Genma? "You okay?"

He leaned in close and said quietly, "Just read it, please. Catch you later." A twinge of sadness traveled between them, and then he was gone.

She stared down at the crumpled paper in her hand, frowning. Without hesitation, she unfurled the piece of paper and read the neat, measured handwriting that was Genma's. "My place tonight?" was all that it said.

Instantly, all the months that they'd been apart evaporated, leaving her heart fluttering like a teenager's. Genma was illicitly inviting her to his apartment. Should she wear the underwear? Quickly, she remembered the forlorn, fleeting look on his face and decided against it. He wasn't asking her to his place to flaunt her tits, he was asking her over as a friend.

She canceled all of her plans for the evening. She had intended to reorganize the archives, hang out with Tonton, and enjoy a rare evening to herself in her pajamas. That could wait.

As soon as she was able to, she walked over to Genma's apartment. It was dark, and pretty late, actually. Hopefully he didn't have to wake up in the morning again. She knocked hesitantly on the door. "Come in!" he hollered from within. She pushed the door open and shut it behind her. He was, predictably, in his room. He was also, to her relief, clothed like a normal guy. He was wearing black pajama pants, but he'd foregone the bandana. He looked like he was ready for bed. There were also darkened circles hovering beneath his eyes. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed them earlier. Genma hadn't been sleeping properly. "What's going on, Genma?" she asked, seating herself on the floor.

He sighed. "Been fighting with Akiko, is all. Didn't want to be alone."

"Oh. I'm sorry," she murmured, seating herself cross-legged on his floor to get comfortable. She hadn't had a ton of experience being the friend-who-listens for a guy, but when she'd had girlfriends she'd learned that the best way to make them feel better was to let them talk themselves into silence. Either Genma wanted to tell her what was bothering him, or he'd been completely forthcoming and really just didn't want to be alone. Either way, she had the patience to be who he needed.

He shrugged at her comment. "Eh, it's whatever," he said flippantly, trying to be dismissive. Shizune saw right through it. Genma was trying to be strong, but his usual armor of confidence was showing his cracks. He wasn't smiling at her. He wasn't making eye contact. In fact, he had his senbon in his fingers and was twirling it absently, his eyes drifted off into the void.

Shizune had never felt so drawn to a man in her entire life. What was it about vulnerability in a guy that felt like pheromones? She felt the urge to wrap her arms around his shoulders and just stay there, a need to be whatever he needed of her. It was a horrific feeling, one she both enjoyed and feared. She did not relish the idea of any man having power over her, but she still wanted to give in to the sensation and go to him. To resist, she stuffed her hands beneath her knees. As the silence stretched on, she searched for the right words to say. She went with, "So, do you want to talk about it?"

Genma sighed heavily and bit down on the senbon. "It's really nothing. It's stupid." He shook his head and declined to comment further.

"Okay," she relented, knowing that, by not pushing him, she would coax the story out of him. She stretched her legs out and leaned back on her hands, regarding his body language and trying to pick up on any hints that she could.

He fidgeted for only a moment before the need to speak drew the words from his lips. "Remember when I told you that I have an inability to keep my flirting under control?" She nodded, taking note of the urgent, pleading look in his eyes. He didn't need her to joke with him right now. "Akiko doesn't really trust me to behave myself, so she brings it up now and then. And you know how it is… she's all 'Genma, do you think she's prettier than me' or 'smarter than me' and all this. Then when she gets really mad she tells me to just go find a new girlfriend because she thinks that's what I want, and then she won't talk to me at all."

Shizune waited and considered his words. Genma wrung his hands and glared at them. "Well, Genma..." she began, but Genma cut her off with "I mean, she's supposed to trust me no matter what. I haven't given her any real reason not to."

Shizune bit her tongue and looked away before she could say  _Actually, you gave her every reason, she just doesn't know about it._ "Do you want other girls?" Like me? "Or is she really the only one you want?"

Genma looked away. "I don't know." He realized how that sounded and hurried to add, "I love her, I really do… but she's the only one I've ever really been with, and we actually haven't had sex."

Shizune's mouth fell open. "Huh?"

Genma fried her confusion with an acid glare. "Does it surprise you that I'm a virgin?"

She shut her mouth and swallowed, working to restore her composure. "Well, honestly, yes. I mean, you certainly don't act like one. Sorry."

To her great relief, the typical Genma smile blossomed ever so slowly on his face into a full on smirk. "Akiko and I have done everything else. We don't need to have sex. I'm saving the act of sex for whoever is special enough for me to marry."

Unexpectedly, that disappointed Shizune, as if the darkest recesses of her brain were still planning to seduce her friend. The same dark corner of her thoughts grinned wickedly and whispered "yeah, we'll see about that!"

His smile slipped as he remembered the topic they were discussing. "I just don't know what to do," he finished lamely. She shrugged, and they lapsed into silence again.

It seemed that was all she was going to get out of him. 30 minutes passed. Then 45. An hour. Finally, sure he was going to be alright, she stood and dusted herself off. "I'm going to go," she said, "since you seem like you're okay now."

The doleful look he shot her way changed her mind, and she stood rooted to the spot, unable to turn away. All of the emotion in that expression was still hiding his feelings. He didn't want her to go, but he didn't want to say it either. "Okay," he said meekly. "Bye." He looked away, as if he couldn't watch her leave him.

Shizune shuffled from foot to foot. "Do you… do you want me to stay?" she managed. "I don't have anything to do tomorrow." Had she just said that? Her heart started to thud louder and louder in her breast as she waited for him to answer.

He flickered a glance in her direction and looked away almost as quickly, but said nothing. The silence was palpable, though Shizune's blood was pounding in her ears the longer the silence wore on. Had he even heard her? Of course he'd heard her. Finally, he made eye contact with her and bit his lip. She read the expression.

 _Yes,_  his eyes said.  _Please don't go._

"No, Shizune," he said, his voice strained but gentle. "You should probably go."

The dismissal didn't even faze her. She knew it was a lie. With just a gentle little push, she could stay, and he could be hers. He was more than just an object of affection though. Genma was her friend, and she wasn't going to take advantage of the vulnerable moment he'd chosen to share with her. She bade him goodnight and left him there, alone. When the door to his apartment was shut, she leaned against it and breathed slowly, trying to calm her nerves.

This night changed things. Things between them weren't just fun and games anymore. Genma had shown her that she meant more to him than just that.


	5. I Should Go

The pattern repeated itself. Ever since the night he'd poured his heart out to her, Genma had avoided her completely. Occasionally, they'd bump into each other at social functions, and each would act as if nothing had happened. Life went on.

Shizune had no idea what had become of his relationship with Akiko. She'd never had the opportunity to ask, and had never known the girl otherwise. She endeavored not to think about it, but every time she saw Genma, she quietly tried to read into his expression and guess. Did he need her? Or was he hoping she'd never try to revisit what they had done? Did he regret sharing his concerns with her? Since she could not figure it out, she'd merely tried to stop thinking about it, and before too long, she was even trying to just let it go.

Months passed much the same as they had before, with one major difference. Now when she thought of Genma, her thoughts were sobered by the gravity of their last conversation. She fantasized about his manly bits less and simply  _wondered_  more. He'd become a mystery to her. Worse, she wasn't sure if she even wanted it to be solved. If he never talked to her again, he would always remain a pleasant memory. If he did, though, what then? Everything could change, for better or for worse.

...Perhaps it really was better if he never reentered her life.

On one of the warmest days of spring, Sakura and Shizune planned a gathering at their new apartment. She and Sakura had leased a larger apartment together. Sakura had had enough of living at home, and Shizune knew it was time to let the old apartment go, along with all of its bad memories… and sad, lost ones. When she had shut the door on the old apartment, she knew it also meant that she had shut the door on her imaginary relationship with Genma. It saddened her, but it was time. She couldn't pretend forever, and as long as she lived in that place she was going to be reminded of him and of her ex. A fresh start would be good.

And so, the event was a housewarming of sorts, and a celebration of the warmer, happier months to come. She invited over the few people she knew would want to go: Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Tsunade. She told Hinata and Sakura that they could invite anyone they wanted to, yet forbade Ino from inviting anyone at all. She'd tried that before, and Ino had gone a little overboard. Shizune knew better than to task Tsunade with anything as frivolous as a house party; the Hokage was overburdened and stressed enough.

For her part, Shizune did little planning at all. She bought some snacks the day of the event, and knew full well that her superior would be bringing enough alcohol to share. She didn't much care for parties, but knew that it would be expected of her. Sakura seemed happy enough about it anyway.

As she expected, no one beyond her core group came, which was just fine with her. She much preferred smaller gatherings; she found them far more personal and enjoyable, less noisy, and less messy. In fact, a couple of hours into their little party, she found that she was actually enjoying herself. She even poured herself a drink and dove into a few hands of cards.

Just as her buzz had reached its peak and she thought the day couldn't possibly get any better, there was a knock on the door. The five of them exchanged looks. Sakura caught her eyes, and Shizune understood the meaning in her expression: she hadn't invited anyone. Sakura, like a good roommate, understood that Shizune didn't love too much company and had purposely not invited anyone at all. Shizune twitched her head to the side to indicate she hadn't invited anyone either. "Ino, you better not have…" she began warningly.

"Relax, Shit-to-do-Today," she said, rolling her eyes, "I didn't invite anyone." Shizune gritted her teeth. She hated Ino's nickname for her. It was Ino's not-so-quiet opinion that Shizune had no life where she clearly should, and she'd bestowed upon Shizune a very unflattering nickname that made her sound boring and stuck up all in one go.

"I invited a few people," Hinata offered cautiously, "but anytime I invite people, they have other things to do. I suppose it's possible…"

"Oh for crying out loud, Shizune, get the door!" Tsunade hollered. As if calling attention to it gave it life, the knock sounded on the door again. Firm, persistent, and efficient, just three good knocks.

Perplexed, she moseyed to the door and peeked through the peephole. Unlooked for and uninvited, Genma stood on the other side of the door, looking down at the ground with a secretive smile on his face. Quickly, she tore her eyes away from the peephole, her muddled brain fogged with questions, such as, "What is he doing here?"

"Who is it?" Sakura asked from her seated position on the floor.

"It's Genma," Shizune answered tonelessly.

"Genma?!" Ino and Tsunade asked together. Hinata, politely, said nothing. Neither did Sakura, but that was because Sakura had heard tales of what had gone on between the two of them. Shizune had forgotten how nice it was to have someone to talk to, and when she remembered, all of it had kind of…poured out.

"Why would Genma be here?" Ino pressed.

"I don't know, Ino," Shizune lied, opening the door. "Genma, hello," she greeted, smiling.

He smiled at her and craned his neck to look over her shoulder and into the apartment. "Having a party?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, kind of. Just a housewarming kind of thing. Want to hang out? There's snacks and vodka, sake, and rum." She tried not to question exactly what was happening here. Why would Genma show up now, after all this time?

His smile cracked even wider. "I'll hang out, sure. I heard you got a new apartment, so I thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing. Looks like I came at the right time!" She stepped aside and let him into the living room, where he promptly plopped down in the circle on the floor to be dealt in.

Her four companions gave him a perfunctory once-over and dismissed his sudden appearance. Ino launched into explaining the game's rules, Sakura passed over a bowl of chips, Tsunade glared at him over her glass just because, and Hinata scooted aside to give him some more space. Just like that, Genma invited himself to the party, and her friends invited him, too. She supposed there was nothing to be done about it, and she couldn't just interrogate him in the middle of a party. She sighed, defeated. "Can I get you a drink?" she asked him instead.

"No thanks, Shizune. I don't drink." He didn't look up from the game.

"Really?" she asked, surprised. It was a rare thing among ninjas not to partake at least once in a while.

He glanced at her quickly, then away again, dropping a pair of threes. "Yeah, I don't like alcohol. It makes me feel like I'm losing control."

"That's kind of the point," she muttered, baffled. "Whatever." She settled in next to him and let Sakura deal her in.

His sudden appearance halfway through the party had found them all in various states of intoxication. She had quit drinking as soon as he had arrived, knowing she shouldn't lose her inhibitions while a man was in her house. She noted with gratitude that Sakura had as well, just in case. Less than an hour after Genma had invited himself over, however, the other three were pretty toasty. Tsunade had already passed out, and Ino and Hinata were dissolving in fits of giggles and speaking far too loudly. The game of cards lay abandoned in the middle of the floor, and Sakura looked absolutely harassed trying to keep it all together.

For the first time all day, Genma turned his full attention to her. The full force of his look upon her froze her entire body. "Shizune, it's getting kind of loud in here. Can we go someplace quieter and talk?"

"Sure, we can go up to my room," she answered readily. It wasn't until she was halfway up the stairs that she realized a whole bunch of things. For one, she was taking Genma to her room alone. Two, she was not sober enough to be alone with Genma in her room. And three, she was dimly aware that she had just abandoned Sakura with a mess and a handful of drunks to handle alone. She'd hear about that one later.

The entire atmosphere changed as soon as she shut the door behind them. It was automatically quieter. The air immediately tensed with all the static that existed between her and Genma, tightened and concentrated in her much smaller room with its tiny twin bed. She turned away from the door and regarded him awkwardly. He had seated himself on her bed already, as it was the only place in the room to sit. He smiled easily. Breaking the ice had always seemed to come so naturally to him. By contrast, any intimate situation only seemed to make her feel more uncomfortable. "It's a nice place," he told her. "I like your room."

"Thanks," she replied by default. She joined him on the bed. It  _was_  the only place to sit. Almost immediately, she didn't like sitting so close to him, so she sneaked behind him and laid down next to the wall. It already felt better. She could lay comfortable, and they could still see each other, but by the very nature of her laying down and him sitting, he felt further away. She took a deep breath. "So," she started. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed and took a breath of his own. "I missed you, Shizune," he answered gently. "It's been a long time since we've talked. I didn't know why you hadn't contacted me, so I dropped by."

That threw her off. She had been certain that it was him that had not contacted her. She scrunched her eyes up in hard thought, but her brain felt fuzzy-ish. "You didn't contact me, either," she countered. It dawned on her then, though, that she had not reached out to him at all. Maybe he had reciprocated because he thought  _she_  did not want to talk to  _him_?

He looked away. "No, I didn't. I'm sorry." He paused. "I've been pretty busy. I took a couple more classes—advanced physiology, and chakra control for medics—thinking they'd be fun. They were really hard, actually. I wish we were still in the same classes so you could help me." He smiled and looked down at her. "Classes just aren't the same without you in them.

"Advanced Phys and CC, huh? Yep, those are probably the two most difficult we have at the moment. Tsunade still teaches CC, doesn't she?"

His mock look of terror was all she needed to know that she was right. Tsunade was a dreadful teacher. She wasn't the best at explaining things, preferring more of a trial and error approach. That was fine and well, except that she was quick to be angry when you'd done it wrong as well. And Advanced Physiology was just… hard.

"I guess I got caught up in things, too," she admitted, not sure if that was the reason she hadn't talked to him or not, but knowing it was a strong possibility. "My job is always a little crazy."

He nodded, but his eyes remained locked on hers. It took her a second to realize that he had leaned in closer, too. Suddenly, the bubble of safety she'd placed between them seemed a lot smaller. He didn't seem far away at all, and he was getting closer. In a fleeting emotion that felt like fear and anticipation rolled into one, heart-rending, panic-stricken moment, she was utterly frozen, caged in by his upper body. And then, his lips were upon hers, warmer and softer than anything she'd ever felt before, and she melted. Her thoughts drew completely blank. She wasn't even sure if she was alive anymore, and she feared the return of her conscience and memory. It was the only kiss in her memory, past, present, and from then forever onward, that had caught her by surprise.

How long did it take? She'd never know. There was a kiss, and it was over. As if to himself, he murmured, "I don't know what it is about you, Shizune. Whenever I'm around you, I feel like I need to kiss you."

She was staring up into the face of the most beautiful man she'd ever known, heady from the rum and from taking part in a scene that was better than her dreams, and the stupid thing that came out of her mouth was, "Don't you still have a girlfriend?"

His eyes dropped away from hers and, a moment later, he pulled away back to his original position. "Yeah," he answered quietly. "Yeah, I do."

They both sat like that for several minutes, neither moving nor speaking. Shizune felt like a fool. She wished she could take it back, that she'd at least allowed herself to bask in the moment a little longer, but words cannot be unsaid. She stared at his back as he stared at the wall, gnawing on his fingers in lieu of the senbon.

Finally, he stood and brushed his hands against his pants. "I should go," he said heavily, regarding her lying there on her bed with obvious regret. "It's getting late, and I have a paper due tomorrow." He smiled shakily, but she accepted the lie. It was better than the truth, this time.

"Okay," she answered. "I'll walk you out."

They didn't say another word to each other. When the door was shut, she turned around and stared into her new apartment. It was filled with people, but it was empty. "My fresh new start," she muttered bitterly.

Sakura appeared in the doorway from the kitchen. "What happened?" she asked, bowl of chips in hand.

Shizune searched her mind for anything that would make sense. What, indeed? She touched her own lips with her fingertips, but it didn't feel the same. Nothing could ever feel as good as his lips had.

"He kissed me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This memory is a hard one to dwell on. It is a dangerous memory to dwell on. For reasons you are beginning to understand, I love this memory, and I've not been able to let it go. Sometimes, it's just hard to remember him and thinking of all the what ifs? Anyway. There it is. You're welcome! :) There's one more chapter.
> 
> I don't want to give too much away... but sometime between the time I said there wouldn't be more than one more chapter and now, there's been some addition to the real life plotline. I thought you might want it, so I'm going to write it in, too. No telling when that will be completed. Keep your fingers crossed.


	6. Stay Connected

It was a long time after that that Shizune had heard in passing that Genma had taken a long-term assignment at some top-secret location far outside the Leaf Village. It was some prestigious honor, the sort of accomplishment that makes a resume stand out.

Her first reaction was, surprisingly, relief. The back and forth dance would finally be over, and she could move on. She knew she was ready for it. Genma had made her feel beautiful and wanted again. Now she just needed to find a good man to appreciate her, someday and somehow, and it wasn't a top priority. She felt confident and independent. If she found someone, that would be great, but if not, she no longer cared.

And whoever it was, it wasn't going to be a guy who would kiss anyone but her. She did truly like Genma, and she did care about him, but she knew she would never love him the way she wanted to love a man. She'd never be able to trust him, and had little knowledge of what kind of person he really was beneath the surface.

There was a momentary stab of regret; she had no idea if she'd ever get to see him again. Oddly, though, her relief swelled and swallowed the regret. By the time she arrived at the apartment she shared with Sakura, she felt free and lighthearted.

Three years passed, and she had mostly forgotten about him. Occasionally, she'd tell a friend about some funny story she had about a guy and his underwear. It was an amusing tale to tell, and it made her feel like a more fun version of herself that no one had ever met before. Half of them didn't believe her at all, knowing something of her personality. Half of the half that believed her thought her a fool for not sleeping with him. Nonetheless, Genma and his uncharacteristic pseudo-obsession with her remained a treasured memory for her. She found it amusing, as well, but there was something important hidden in there, too.

That kiss they had shared… there was never going to be another like it. She had been kissed before that and since, but there was so much rising action and coy innuendo leading up to it and so much surprise wrapped up in it that she'd never forget. It had been the most exhilarating kiss of her life, and told the secret of the man Genma had wanted to be, and the woman she needed to be, too, but neither with the other.

Three years from that moment found Shizune in a happy and comfortable relationship with another medic-nin. Male medics were far more rare than females. It was more natural for a woman to want to administer care and for a man to want to protect, so men were more often found on a battlefield. Nonetheless, she'd found the perfect man. He was smarter than she was, calmer than she was, and excellent at his job. He worked about as much as she did, and as a result, he understood her long hours and long stints abroad. They had a wonderful understanding, a mature relationship, and love between them.

He would never kiss like Genma had… and that was okay, too.

And three years from that moment found Shizune lonely at home, her beau off on some mission in Wind Country for several months. Shizune never considered herself a person with many needs, and she wasn't.

For the first month.

The second month was hard, too, but she got by on memories and dreams, dredging up moments from their relationship that made her feel less alone.

By the third month, only the pictures by their bed kept her from forgetting his face. His scent was completely lost, the laundry he'd left behind freshly washed, folded, and put away. Nothing left on his pillows. She had no way to contact him either, and no word on when he'd be back.

Good Shizune knew that he would return, and that their love was not diminished by the time lost. Good Shizune loved him, truly and deeply, like no man she had ever known. He was a good man, a careful man, who wanted her to be happy and had eyes for no one else. He was polite, and well-liked by her friends and family, and she knew that someday, when work slowed down and when they had the funds to afford it, they would be married. She missed him, all of his kindnesses and warm hugs. She missed having him next to her to bring reality back when she woke from a nightmare.

She was no longer accustomed to being alone.

And now, Bad Shizune was growing impatient of being alone. She knew it was inevitable that her hormones would start nagging her. She wanted someone to be in her bed when she got home from work. She needed someone to drain her stresses away. She wanted the rush of a fevered afternoon of lovemaking, and the heady sleep that followed after.

The feeling rose and grew within her until she'd become a hollow demon of carnal shame. She could no longer look at any man without wondering how easy it would be to draw him into her den. She fantasized about men sneaking into her house and confessing how long they had yearned to be in her embrace, and tearing his clothes off. It no longer mattered how old, ugly, or unattainable they seemed. Their faces and all the lives she would ruin didn't matter. Worst of all were her dreams. The realm of fantasy that she could not control was invaded by unwelcome sexual partners of the most heinous variety. In her dreams, she reveled. Upon waking, she was reviled.

It was somewhere in the fifth month of her solitude that she dreamed of Genma. She had mostly forgotten about him. Remembering him was dangerous. It made her want to find him, to right the wrong she had done, and seduce him at last. She had suppressed the details of her memories, omitted all feelings from her nonchalant storytelling, and numbed the treasured past. But then, long neglected, lonely, and craving human comforts, she remembered. It was hard to forget him completely. As she remembered, the details returned, and the regret bloomed.

She should have claimed him. She should have ignored the existence of Akiko. If he'd truly loved her, he wouldn't have kept coming to Shizune. She didn't know if they'd be together still. She'd never know if she could trust him. But, if she'd have pushed just a little harder and won him over, it would have been thrilling. They might have had the best era of their lives, however brief, and she'd not be left wondering.

He had still not returned from his mission, but reports claimed that all was well and he was still alive.

She turned over in her bed, sighing heavily, and read the clock. 4:03 a.m. It was definitely too late to be awake. She needed to be at work in a few hours. What to do?

She slapped the back of her hand over her eyes and groaned. Sleep was not happening. Her mind drifted to the dream she had had. In it, he had been a happy, successful man, with a twist. Anyone who wanted to spend the night with him, could. She'd showed up after so many years, and he'd merely smiled at her. "I knew I'd see you again someday," he told her, closing the distance between them. He encased her tightly in his arms, making her feel captured and helpless, and kissed her like he had back then. He'd canceled every date he'd had and spent every moment with her, and she never left the bed.

Shizune didn't even realize she was leaving until she had put her sandals on and seized the doorknob. She blinked in surprise, then firmed her resolved and stepped out into the silence of the wee hours of the morning.

It was dark, but she'd made the trek a thousand times. She swiftly and silently made her way to Hokage Tower, then swiftly and silently made her way to Tsunade's office. She felt wicked, both for breaking rules and for dwelling on Genma (and his underwear, and lack thereof). She knew where Tsunade kept the top secret files. Hell, a lot of the time, she herself had performed the necessary clerical tasks involving the S-Rank missions. It was remarkably easy to find out what you shouldn't if you knew where to look.

She found the files easily enough, but she didn't know much about the particulars, so she wasn't immediately aware of which she needed. She had to read through a few before she found it. "Sleeper Spy: Codename Hoori." Apparently, Genma had been sent to assimilate into the Land of Lightning due to historical distrust between the nations. He had literally starved himself near the point of death and lived as a hermit for several months so that no one would believe he was a Leaf Shinobi before being admitted to society. As of this moment in time, Genma had barely begun to be noticed by Cloud Shinobi. By all reports, things were going quite well, and Genma's efforts were to be commended.

A black envelope was included with the file. Genma's name was written on it. Shizune opened the envelope and read it to herself. The parchment contained encouragement and instruction on how to proceed.

Shizune's heart pounded. This was her chance to contact Genma. She remembered the conversation they'd had about neither contacting the other. The time was now! Completely forgetting everything in the entire world except this flimsy connection with Genma, she yanked a piece of blank paper from Tsunade's desk and started writing. When she was finished, she folded it with care and slid it between the folds of the document containing Genma's orders, put the file back together, and left Tsunade's office. With only an hour before work to go, Shizune found her own tiny little cubby of an office—that she rarely used—and passed out in her chair.

It was a couple of weeks later when Tsunade roared into surgery—nearly costing a patient his life—and hauled her out by the arm. She didn't really say anything until she slammed the office door shut behind them with such force that the frame very nearly splintered. Shizune didn't need the Intelligence Division to tell her what had happened.

Unfortunately, that only made her giddy; it meant that Genma had written back!

"What is this?" Tsunade said, snipped short and quiet. In her hand she brandished the parchment like a dagger.

"I imagine it's a letter from my penpal," she replied with a smile. "Iruka's taught the children that it's uplifting to write to soldiers of war."

"I don't think humor is helping you here, Shizune."

Her smile withered. "Sorry, Lady Tsunade."

"We're not a postal service, Shizune."

"Sorry, Lady Tsunade."

"If this happens again, I will deliver it to ICU instead of to you," she warned.

Shizune cringed. ICU was her lover's wing. "Bad judgment, Lady Tsunade. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Tsunade dismissed her. But, just before the door clicked shut, Tsunade called her back. She sighed. "If it helps, Shizune, Genma most likely won't be returning for several years at the earliest." Shizune nodded. "You're not getting any younger Shizune." She shook her head slowly. Her superior's eyes bored into her skull. "Marry the damned medic, woman, and forget the face that volunteered for the indefinite endpoint sleeper spy S-Rank mission."

She smiled then. "You're right, Lady Tsunade. Thank you."

"Besides," Tsunade grumbled, "if he does ever come back, I'm probably going to thrash him for liquefying your wits. One thing about that medic of yours… he keeps you sharp. Now, go."

Shizune didn't need to be told again. One never overstayed their welcome with Tsunade, or one might end up with horrifyingly menial tasks to perform. She swiftly placed her feet on the other side of the threshold and shut the door behind her. In the very next instant, she unfolded Genma's letter.

* * *

 

Dear Shizune,

I had actually just heard your name on the lips of some passing Cloud Medics, and I thought of you. How are you doing? I've been training here with some of the medical corps. They aren't as good as ours, but they do know a few things that we don't, and I am finding the work useful. I can't wait to share it with you. I'm sure your work is incredible, as it always has been.

If you can ever tear yourself away from work, you can come stay with me. It won't be that hard to explain. I've already set the groundwork for all sorts of stories in case anyone from the Leaf ever has to make a presence here. I'd love to see you, too. I miss you and all of my friends. It's just not the same here without you. I miss our little academic competitions.

I've gotten to do a lot of thinking about the phase I went through with you, and it still makes me blush. I don't talk about it with anyone. I am pleased that you think I am attractive, but it really made my day to read that you thought more of me than that. Most people didn't see past the pretty face. You should be more confident though. I remember you being a total babe. I'm still amazed nothing happened between us. I'm sure you would have rocked my world. I've given a considerable amount of thought to how that would have gone. Have you?

It was great to hear from you. I've been thinking about you often, as well. Stay connected.

Genma

P.S, I'm all excited now... It's going to be difficult to sleep tonight, thanks. *wink*

* * *

 

Shizune read the letter several times, then folded it and buried it in her pocket. She felt terrible, suddenly, for having written in the first place while her lover was busy doing meaningful work across country. She felt even more wretched that, after all this time, she was strongly considering going to Genma. She knew where he was now. She knew what his intentions were now, as well. She knew what the invitation meant. It was a suggestion to finish what they had started once upon a time. She noted, also, that he had never answered her question about his relationship with Akiko, and she wondered if that was on purpose or not.

The desire to go despite all the questions was fierce. It would be passionate and thrilling, a true romantic adventure with no definitive ending to be predicted.

For several days she entertained the idea, balancing the enigma awaiting her in Cloud Country against her much more grounded adventure with the quiet, caring medic stationed in Wind Country. Good Shizune and Bad Shizune waged war within her breast. Bad Shizune had an itch that kissed like a god in need of scratching. Good Shizune dreamed wistfully of curly haired babies with medical genius encoded in their DNA.

A few days after receiving her letter, she placed a request for assignment on Tsunade's desk. The Hokage raised an eyebrow at her. "You don't usually request an assignment, Shizune. What are you up to?"

Shizune smiled and railed off her carefully rehearsed speech. "For over a decade I have followed you, my Lady. I've been a faithful and dedicated medic, an overcaring friend, and a babysitter. I've more or less been Hokage myself. I've taken extra classes I probably don't need to remain sharp. All of the people who have been so kind as to think me a friend have confessed they think I work too hard and never think of myself. They tell me to have more fun, be more selfish, more confident. Ino calls me Shit-to-do-Today instead of Shizune." Tsunade's lips twitched, threatening a smile. She'd always enjoyed the ill-humored nickname. "I've done a lot of thinking in the past few years, and I know I've changed, slowly, for the better. I know what I want now, and I want to do something for me. It actually stings a bit that I have to ask permission by law to do it, but I've never been one for breaking rules, as you well know, so I'm begging permission. May I please go?"

Tsunade couldn't help herself. She grinned. "You're the only person to have ever walked in here to ask permission for a booty call," she joked. "In the future, don't. Just go. People aren't supposed to beg for those things. It's unseemly. Just leave me a note."

"You won't be angry?" she asked cautiously.

"No, I'll be furious," she retorted, "but it's easier to apologize than to ask permission. That said, yes, you have my permission to go. I hear the Village Hidden in the Sand is very nice this time of year." She smirked. "Tell Gaara I said hello, and have a safe trip."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I had to change some things with this scene. The "letters" was actually a string of text messages, so I tried to condense it into a letter that made sense because cell phones don't exist in Naruto. Also, I don't remember what I said, so that's completely lost. The real Genma in the real story is at Med School in Chicago, and it's a six hour drive away. I've known where he was the whole time. The real medic nin is simply living far away, and neither of us can afford to travel. I didn't make a choice between visiting either of them... but the real medic nin did come to visit me for Christmas, and I did not go to Chicago, so it's close. No one outside was involved in the decision making process (such as Tsunade).
> 
> This is the kind of story that doesn't have an ending. Life goes on. Regrets remain, memories last, choices are made.
> 
> Enjoy life's little adventures. :) Life is short. Make a decision and stick to it. Never regret it, just learn from it. People make mistakes and poor decisions. That's part of being human. Don't be afraid of your feelings.
> 
> If this story has a moral, it's this: It's okay to feel attraction to others as long as you don't act on it. Genma was wrong here, in that respect. Shizune probably shouldn't have contacted him, but shit happens. In the end, she made the right choice.
> 
> I did tell my boyfriend about the texts, and about how the distance was affecting me. I did tell him I didn't have a lot of faith in myself if we stayed apart too much longer (it was about 7 months at the time of the texts). I told him I'd had a moment of weakness and considered Chicago. Humans can be weak. A crack in the hull can sink a ship. And you know what? I didn't go to Chicago. I didn't go to Chicago. Chicago is still there, and I haven't gone. Why? Because if you love somebody, there is no sex in the world that is worth jeopardizing that relationship. I didn't really even know what I'd be giving it all up for.
> 
> But it's still fun to think about. It's a memory that is now immortal. "Genma" will always be godlike in my dreams. Makes you wonder if he's mediocre in real life, doesn't it?
> 
> ...But it was a damned good kiss!


End file.
